The Wisdom Whisperers
Golden Guides to a Long Life of
Grit, Grace and Laughter
by Melinda Blau
Nonfiction/Morehouse Publishing
Award-winning journalist, author of 15 books and hundreds of articles on relationships and social trends, bestselling co-author of “Secrets of the Bay Whisperer,” Melinda Blau likes old ladies, and she doesn’t care who knows it. (One turned 97 when this book went to press.) Blau’s old lady friendships started when she was a young woman and bonded with her Aunt Ruth, who was 20 years her senior and became “the template” for her future friendships with much older women, her “grandfriends. You can’t be any old lady to pall around with Blau; it’s more than the advanced age she’s looking for. It’s attitude and enthusiasm, how you move through the world, your curiosity about people, a zest for life and taking on a challenge, learning something new. You can be young at 90—many of Blau’s friends are—and old at 40. It’s yours for the making.
The author has nothing against young folks, but she’s all in regarding elders and gives a resounding nay to the stereotypes of aging. Oldsters are fragile and forgetful and want to spend their later years babysitting their grandkids. Not by a long shot, when you read the stories about her upbeat, high-spirited friends who “work on being independent, responsible, and engaged in life” and “simply live energetically, proudly and well.” Or, as Marge, who lived to 104, put it, “to be conscious, upright, and breathing.” A sense of humor doesn’t hurt. Zelda, who keeps in “her careening-toward-one-hundred brain… witticisms, songs, and dirty jokes,” likes to wrap up an evening’s soirée with “The Golden Years,” by Dr. Seuss. Yes, that Dr. Seuss in, “You’re Only Old Once: A Book for Obsolete Children.”
The Golden years are here at last.
I cannot see.
I cannot pee.
I cannot chew.
I cannot screw.
My memory shrinks.
My hearing stinks.
I look like hell.
My body’s drooping.
Have trouble pooping.
The golden years have come at last…
“’At’ last.” is her cue for the big finish. She turns her back to the audience, looks over her shoulder impishly as she slaps her backside and delivers the punchline…THE GOLDEN YEARS CAN KISS MY ASS!
Through her friendships, Blau discovered her “Wisdom Whisperers” didn’t suddenly become admirable in later life; they practiced “living their fullest lives along the way,” embracing age with pride and enthusiasm. Start now, Blau encourages. “… and become the best old person you can be.” Good friends are essential at any age. They make our lives more enjoyable and help us through hard times. Blau believes that friendships with much older people have special value in that their age has given them insights they can share. They can draw from experiences younger folks can’t get from their peers. And those oldsters get to feel they’re not alone, that they still count for something. It’s a win for everyone.
Though the throughline of the book is “forging relationships with elders,” there’s a core message about living. Living with meaning and hope. Whether it’s about the opportunities that present themselves throughout our lives—We fail? So?! Maybe we didn’t win, but at least we were in the game—or out of the blue, deciding to write a memoir at 80, let’s give it our all. There’s more in us than we thought. Sounds like a pep talk? In part, it is, but Blau gives it earnestly, with years of research and experience behind her—she’s known some of her old ladies for decades. Nine in all, presented with backstories and lives still lived richly cum walkers and canes, arthritis, failing vision, and personal tragedies. You’ll be glad you met them.
Eighty herself now, Blau finds it a challenge to meet an old lady 20 years her senior (they can be old men too), but she’s still “on the prowl,” wanting to enlarge her “social convoy.” She encourages readers to find their own “good” old people and mutually enrich each other’s lives. Say, a teacher, an employer, a tennis partner. Feel them out, look for common ground, and see who might be interested in connecting. If you can’t find an elder to befriend or a younger person looking for someone older, be your own” kick-ass old lady” and embrace your years “no matter what they bring.” Aging is “a gift that not everyone gets to unwrap.”
