Disagreeing respectfully? It can be done. As our serene 2024 Summer of Love ends, expect emotions to run high this fall when our polarizing presidential election takes center stage. We’ve all heard the adage, “Don’t talk politics,” and this especially holds true at the dinner table or family events. These bull sessions can make people fly off the handle and escalate into shouting matches, ruining the occasion for everyone.
However, thought-provoking debates about politics and policies are a fundamental part of democracy, with its core belief in freedom of expression as an unalienable right. If we implement constructive ways to have these all-important conversations, we can express our political opinions and still keep our families and friendships intact. With a little conscious effort, we can openly discuss heated issues without fanning the flames or attacking others. Conveying anger in a righteous manner is paramount if we don’t want the War of the Roses waged on our home turf. Continually remind everyone how the sacredness of our personal relationships is more important than our political differences.
Most of us have never mastered godly ways of demonstrating anger. We tend to stuff down our feelings, and when we finally let out our frustrations, we do it in highly destructive, explosive, and over-the-top ways. These ugly outbursts backfire on us, and we end up looking like lunatics.
Recognizing the existence of two different types of anger, mortal and divine, can empower us to voice our beliefs in righteous and meaningful ways. Mortal anger is fear-based, easily threatened, and always on the defensive. We’ve all witnessed this kind of terrifying rage with its out-of-control behaviors, which include screaming, yelling expletives, and temper tantrums. These blowups set off impulsive acts of violence characterized by hair-trigger reactions and temporary insanity. In contrast, divine anger, founded on the principles of agape, the unconditional love for all humankind and God’s creations, shows respect for others. This love-based anger is fair, factual, and nonjudgmental. Since divine anger is patient, tolerant, and wise, we can wait to win over our opponents or gracefully accept what cannot be changed.
When people passionately express their political views, toxic anger can spontaneously ignite. To keep political discourses in your household civil, set some guidelines for yourself and others. Designate the dinner table as a politics-free zone. Encourage everyone to stick to the facts, which means they only reiterate everything they see on social media after first fact-checking. Utilize a variety of news outlets to get a deeper understanding of the most pressing issues. Allow others to express their opinions and listen to what they say without interruption. When it’s your time to speak, state your case calmly, and don’t raise your voice. Never, under any circumstances, revert to name-calling. Recently, we have heard high-profile politicians call each other a whole slew of unkind and politically incorrect names. As children, we disagreed with our schoolmates and still played in the sandbox together. As functional adults, we need to remember that preschool etiquette.
If the discussion reaches a stalemate, take a time out. Reach for your smartphones and research the topic on reputable news sites. Then, compare and contrast your findings. Keep in mind that the world won’t come to an end if you hear a different slant on the issues, and you might be pleasantly surprised that everyone involved benefitted from this factual interaction.
Our relationships will invariably be tested as we get closer to election day and conversations turn to politics. Stay focused on saying what you mean, meaning what you say, but don’t be mean. At times, agree to disagree. Refrain from judging others. Address the issues, but never personally attack someone with opposing views. Most importantly, diffuse tensions with your sense of humor and temper your honesty with kindness.
Expressing our political views with reverence, dignity, grace, and respect for all is a noble aspiration we can all strive to achieve. Mahatma Gandhi, a proponent of civil disobedience inspired by the teachings of the American writer, philosopher, and pacifist Henry David Thoreau, became a living example of divine anger in action. Gandhi succinctly stated this sentiment when he said, “Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.”
Be ever mindful of this simple truth: if we can’t make peace in our own hearts and homes, how can there be peace in the world?
