Let’s talk about embracing self-love. What is it really?
At the highly anticipated 2024 Grammys, Miley Cyrus’s powerful self-love anthem, “Flower,” clinched the prestigious Record of the Year award. The lyrics serve as a beacon of empowerment, reminding us that within ourselves, we possess all the tools necessary for our survival. This hit song encourages you to be your own best friend, treat yourself to small gifts, schedule solo adventures, and listen to your inner voice.
Learning to love and protect ourselves as we cherish family members and friends should be natural and straightforward. However, reality is often far from this ideal. In truth, it is one of the most challenging karmic lessons to master. As children, we were taught to put others first, share, and never act self-centered, but most of us never learned the difference between self-love and selfishness.
How does self-love differ from selfish behavior? Selfish people do not consider other people’s feelings. They act in their own self-interest, often at the expense of others. Self-love doesn’t imply taking advantage of anyone. It simply means caring for yourself and treating yourself with the same consideration you show others. On a plane, the flight attendant tells you to put your oxygen mask on before attempting to help others. The logic in this airplane protocol can serve as an apt metaphor for life because if you don’t take care of yourself first, you cannot help anyone else.
Without self-love, we become martyrs, enablers, and people-pleasers. Continually sacrificing our lives for others, putting their needs above our own, and remaining loyal to people who do not deserve our loyalty can harm our emotional, psychological, and physical health. Furthermore, people with poor self-worth have difficulty setting healthy boundaries; therefore, they tolerate abuse and tend to stay in toxic relationships way too long.
Perhaps substituting the word self-care for self-love would make respecting our feelings and prioritizing our wants and needs easier to accomplish. Self-care is not a luxury. It’s a necessity and a way to show ourselves we are worthy. Self-care is about accepting yourself for who you are and taking steps to ensure your well-being. It’s about acknowledging your emotional and physical needs, being kind to yourself, and forgiving yourself for not always being perfect.
Take some simple steps each day toward becoming a healthier, happier you. You can start by treating your body like a holy temple. Eat healthier foods. Drink more water. Go for walks. Make a conscious effort to quit your bad health habits. Schedule necessary doctor appointments. Join a gym. Get more sleep. Don’t forget to pay attention to your psychological, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual needs. Seek therapy. Listen to guided meditations. Do some deep breathing exercises. Read a good book. Get a massage. Say positive and loving affirmations like, “I am enough,” “I am worthy,” and “I deserve happiness.” Learn something new. Spend time with people who genuinely love and care for you. Throughout the day, repeat this simple but powerful invocation, “I pray to do what is best for everyone, including myself.”
Living hectic lives and simply not having enough downtime are the main reasons people don’t take better care of themselves. The good news is that you don’t need to dedicate huge chunks of time to self-care; you can take short, replenishing breaks throughout the day. In the evening, instead of plopping yourself in front of the boob tube or binge-watching a Netflix series, choose to do some of the self-care routines mentioned above. Before long, you will start to look and feel better, your stress levels will decrease, and your overall health will improve.
Another remarkable side effect of self-care is that you will be more patient with yourself and with everyone else. When you take time to recharge your batteries, you will have more energy to give to others. Regular self-care routines leave you relaxed and replenished and keep you from feeling burnt out. Your overall happier, more positive outlook can be contagious, and all your interpersonal relationships will benefit from it.
As you go about your day, make a conscientious effort to be less critical and judgmental of yourself. Stop “should-ing” all over yourself with self-reprimanding thoughts like, “I should do this” or “I shouldn’t do that.” Strive to change your disparaging mindset by asking yourself, “What could I do?” and “What would I want to do?” This subtle but profound shift in thinking will jumpstart your lifelong love affair with your immortal soul.
