SALTAIRE SUMMERYBy Hugh O’BrienWhat a lousy week this has been! Jon Stewart leaves, following close on Stephen Colbert’s departure last December, and David Letterman’s retirement in May. All the guys worth watching, gone just when we need them most! I mean we have to get unassisted through Bush and Walker and Rubio and Christie and all the other geniuses for the next 16 months? I mean, Trump? Depressing. Larry Wilmore’s pretty good, though, and Bill Maher’s back, but ‘taint the same.Ah well, we’ll still be talking about the same stuff a year from now, albeit with a smaller cast and better idea of what fun we can expect until 2020, so for the nonce we’ll worry about how we’ll be spending these last few weeks of the summer of ’15, which really doesn’t have much of a ring to it, like “Summer of ‘42” or “Summer of Sam,” but a lot of the activities on offer should ring a welcome bell.First off, as has often been the case in days past, upon request we’ll yield control of this space for private messages, sort of like the personals but with bigger type. As y’all know, on Aug. 1, the SCAA held the Music & Art Festival at scattered sites around town — the arts, the crafts, the music, the watermelon, the picnic and the climactic fireworks in the shape of watermelons. With a police boat, two Coast Guard vessels, the East Islip fireboat and a contingent of SVFC personnel standing dutifully by, at least the bay didn’t catch fire, which is more than you can say about Lake Erie. Good show. Anyway, nouveau SCAA chaise Grace Corradino sent me an email asking if I might distill its contents in this week’s column. Indeed yes, and rather than paraphrase someone else’s sentiments, and to save my index fingers additional wear, I’ll just cut and paste Grace’s salute to all those who made this complex day less unwieldy and more fun:“Allison Williams, Volunteer extraordinaire, for her vision, creativity and hard work on behalf of the entire community, for her willingness to serve as the Chair of the Saltaire Music and Arts Festival; Richard Montero, Vice Chair, SCAA, for tireless efforts on the day of the Festival: he managed the logistics associated with the musicians throughout the day, greeted vendors and did whatever needed to be done throughout the day; all the vendors who participated to help make the day an enormous success for the community; the Weather Gods; the private donors who funded the Fireworks; The Pioneer store for the donation and DELIVERY of the watermelons to the Music and Arts Festival; Katelin Richard for her tireless work on behalf of Saltaire’s children and organizing and running the watermelon party; Warren Diller who has been called upon almost every time there is a need for audio visual equipment any where in the Village: he has never said “NO.” Vern and the maintenance crew who did all the set-up and knock-down at the end of the day. Saltaire is made up of so many people who volunteer/work to make this Village nicer/better. On behalf of the SCAA, I would like to thank you all, those who have been mentioned and those of you who know who you are.”And thanks from the rest of us strewn across town, too.Gee, I wish we had one of them East Islip fireboats. They roll over in tidal waves and everything.Okay, now this is urgent, which is probably why we’re burying it halfway through the column: the JOGATHON! Again, it being past midnight, I save myself some typing and scrambling for sparks of creativity and reprint verbatim the notice sent by former SCAA chair Pat Hennessey regarding the aforementioned running, panting and sweating event:“The Jogathon: Registration at Gazebo – Saturday, August 15th, 2015; Time: 9 – noon. Entry Fee: $20.00 – all ages with a t-shirt. FREE – ages 12 and under (no t-shirt). Race starting at Gazebo – Sunday, August 16th, 2015; Time: 9 am. Entry Fee: $25.00 – with t-shirt on race day. FREE – ages 12 and under (no t-shirt).” (I note that SCAA communiqués tend to use lots of words in CAPITALS, a trait no doubt influenced by their acronym.)Of course, re the Jogathon, we were becomingly forthcoming about this upcoming coming attraction in last issue’s comings and goings, but way back then we didn’t possess the crucial information regarding the entry fee, and above all the complexities of the T-shirt conundrum. Frankly I’ve lost track of exactly which J’thon this is; 38th I think, give or take a couple hundred. But as long as the joggers jog our collective memories and admiration, and don’t lose track themselves, the event should be one to leave every participant proud and every onlooker exhausted.Lastly, consider Soccer: the annual Perlberger Cup named after some guy with the same first name as Kramden who organizes the thing. “Play,” as it came to be known between ambulance calls, was held last weekend, and Ralph has managed to provide us the results despite a fractured collarbone that makes it impossible for him to hold both a quill and an IV simultaneously. (An injury not – repeat, not – acquired during field mayhem; it occurred on the way to participate in field mayhem, when RP tumbled off one of our new and improved boardwalks. One in a million, according to our attorneys.) Anyway, with undaunted courage for selfless glory and dauntless enthusiasm for self-immolation, the players sallied forth, and truth be told, provided the enraptured residents with enough action to sustain them for many years and the resident EMTs with enough calls to earn them attendance points for this one year. Final results from Sunday’s playoffs:Elbowing their way toward the championship showdown, Red bested White 1-0 and Orange overcame Yellow by 3-1, with Blue bruising Red in the semi-finals 3-0. This set up a square-off between Blue v. Orange in which the former crunched the latter 3-0 to become 2015 Perlberger Cup champeens. Victorious members of the Blue tide: Tim Clarkin, Mike MacAllister, Andy MacAllister, Brian Sosa, David Swiedler, Brandon Godbout, Andrew Sosa, Tristan Whitehorse and Dylan Sachs. Ralph also thanks veterans Don Taffner, Keith Miller and Mike Zabar with helping organize the scrum, and Alex Chefetz for an admirable job as referee. This year’s MVPs, meantime, came from Team Orange — a tie between members of the family Savelson, Ruben and Noah. Knowing Netherlands native Ralph’s nation of nascency, a Newsday newshound noisily nosed, “Orange you glad a team of that color won?” To which RP graciously replied, “I never believe anything I read in Newsday.”Back to the beach, whilst it lasts.Something for Hugh’s column? Email him at saltaire@fireisland-news.com.